Thursday, August 29, 2013


Consider barely discernible solutions -- to angst, stress, unhappiness.  Think of rhythm . . . rhythm of life, refrains we cannot 'hear' with an auditory sense; melodies which flow easily around and through daily routines, among which so many merely exist, crying 'responsibility' to the bitter end.
These little songs are often hastily, unwittingly composed.  Dashing a few bars off, throwing them out there to waft along randomly, along with frantically structured, tightly wound requirements.
This beat is not going to pound great, exciting bass lines in the ear.  It will, however, disrupt, explode, and derail smooth living patterns regularly, over and over.  Or it will settle in and around all others, loved ones, friends, co-workers, pets, those valued allies from whom we need acceptance and unconditional love.  This soothing piece of music can create peace and serenity, acceptance, love and silence.  All souls thrive in the midst of safe repose.
A bit similar to the Pied Piper in its long-term demands, after prolonged periods of disharmony, this little song can and will change its tune.  Suddenly, it may appear to become incompatibility (dreaded, tedious condition), domestic violence, verbal abuse, or infidelity.  Even at this breakdown stage, when recognized and acknowledged, it will also respond to composition edits, even to a symphony of sounds, so long as all instruments are reading the same music.
We just cannot really hear it.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Looking the Other Way

How simple it is to observe people looking the other way . . . when betrayed, or attacked, or mistreated in the many ways these hurtful actions can be applied.  More difficult by far is seeing ourselves in this role -- the victim, the martyr, the One Who Is Wronged.

It may be similar to feeling that one is drowning -- if there is a straw floating nearby, grabbing for it would not be out of the question in that kind of panic.  No available options create illusory possibilities . . . any port in a storm, a mirage in the desert.  Just make up something, all cannot really be lost.

In relationships, looking the other way is at base denial.  If it isn't acknowledged, then it isn't real and that wave of pain and desertion won't wash over like a tsunami, leaving a wasteland when it recedes.  Just make up a story, any story . . . or accept one which the offending party is spinning, and it's all okay.

This condition appears pitiful and sad to those who have no emotional stock in the situation.  While using lies may appear to be life-saving at the moment -- think false hope pinned to a slippery slope.  In truth, it is a questionable remedy, a soothing temporary balm on deep wounds which can be life-threatening, but most certainly are severely damaging. 

Monday, July 8, 2013

Give it Some Thought

It is predictable to assume that most events which occur in a person's life are met with a headlong rush to gain control over those . . . to remain the center of the action.  It seems only right to want top billing in any production we join.

So -- before employing any and all methods available which can be used to wrestle it all to the ground, think whether or not this particular happening deserves the time, strength and energy required to bring it down.

The next time a crisis must be met, it may be smarter, not to mention simpler, to employ the intellect . . . a great mediator, since it tends to remain free of emotion, that unreasoning, flamingly reactive responder which is famous for clouding good judgment.

Just . . . give it some thought.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Lashing Out

Few can say with any accuracy or truth that losing control and lashing out has not been a part of life, at one time or another.  Strongly felt opinions, feelings of deficiency, resentment; even ideas of inadequacy or insecurity can trigger such outbursts.

The family pet, a significant other, an airline ticket agent, the car ahead of you in a drive-through may be unsuspecting targets . . . usually there are regrets, sometimes simply a satisfied, smug feeling of vindication.  In fact, this scenario, too often repeated within human interaction frameworks, is not just unnecessary but usually pointless except for venting frustration which has been allowed to simmer too long.

No one is responsible for someone else's state of mind.  This commonly held, randomly applied fallacy has caused so much unrest, unpleasantness, divisiveness, turmoil and even crime that perhaps it should be at least acknowledged, if not addressed with some interest.

When that angry, unreasoning energy arises the next time -- take a few moments to view it as a curious bystander might - is this simply a one-person show?  It may appear entirely different, to the point of interrupting a tirade which could escalate far past the issue which elicited its origin.  In other words, it could save the peace.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Attitude Reviews

Occasionally reviewing attitudes seems prudent -- a simple exercise, or so it would seem.  In actuality, attitudes are elusive mental states, difficult to identify, much less bring to a place of practical consideration.

It may be easier to begin with awareness - becoming truly knowledgeable about those judgments and ideas we hold so closely within our images of ourselves.  Do we really know what we have become?  Is it possible that our present anger, frustration, sadness, or discomfort begins with nothing more than an assumed, rigid attitude -- which can be modified/changed/discarded at will?

Examine personal  responses, reactions, and immediate, inflexible thinking -- occurrences which can illuminate an attitude problem.  Become comfortable with acceptance, calm observance, and a quiet mind.  Watch carefully for cues from others; sometimes the first indication that an attitude adjustment is advisable comes from the eyes and body language of others.  Reflect on interactions - casual ones, family matters, the clerk at a local drugstore; let these be helpful mirrors on the path to enlightenment.

Some of this will be painful, even shocking.  Change usually elicits some resistance -- employ love, forgiveness and patience -- rewards are great and enduring.