Looking the Other Way

Observation of violence or abuse perpetrated on another person or living creature is strangely layered . . . we seem to be able to detach if brutal acts are inflicted on those in another country, during a war, or a riot, even a demonstration.  It is simple to believe that we are far removed from the action taking place, that it is not our business, that we could do nothing to help anyway.

Few of us have actually been present while a person was beaten, molested or robbed, or killed.  It would be a terrifying experience, but most would do everything to try to help or find assistance.  It is beyond understanding, therefore, when a parent or a priest, a teacher or coach is allowed to prey on those who are vulnerable and unable to defend themselves while people who are near, many who are aware of the acts of violence, remain silent and do nothing to protect the victims.

So . . . is this evil which is being inflicted a crime of one person only or are the people who are aware of what is taking place, who could help prevent the damage by speaking up and reporting it, also guilty?   Looking the other way, pretending that it isn't the moral responsibility of every person who has knowledge of a crime to take action to stop it, is reprehensible.  Justice must include holding those who commit crimes, along with those who by cowardly inaction allow and encourage them, liable.

Simple nurture

Sit today and make a short list - of some actions which bring you satisfaction or joy.  Dancing, singing, listening to music, walking on a nature trail; biking, team sports, personal pampering, the ocean, close proximity to water.

Just two or three notations, written so they may be read each day, will bring happy thoughts.  Knowledge of what drives you, anticipation, that feeling of excitement which arises from looking forward to something.  Remain aware of thoughts which divert you from pleasant ideas, reject them immediately.

Framing the mind's wanderings with positive, uplifting support is the first step toward lucidity, that 'wisdom which passes all understanding' -- and will provide peace and serenity, along with contented acceptance.  All is as it seems . . . this happens solely in one's own domain.

Self-preservation

Using the 'absorb and diminish' technique when faced with inconsiderate, cruel or thoughtless behavior from those we love is frequently ineffective; more likely, an approach containing a combination of clear thinking, using few judgments and no criticisms, could be a step in the right direction.

Modifying our own behavior has miraculous effect on people who are in combat mode.  However, tolerating anything other than respect and kindness from others will pretty much ensure that this type of treatment continues.

Give some thought to watching your own reactions.  When hurt or mistreated, it is efficient to acknowledge this fact -- no whining allowed -- and state an alternative quickly, before the moment is lost.  Intercepting another's tirade is more simple than we may believe; sometimes all it requires is a clear, unwavering gaze and a short silence.

Remain calm, state as honestly as you can how you are feeling, and put some distance between you and your perpetrator.  Attempts to enter an unequal, contrived fray will do nothing more than put you squarely in a bullseye of illusion.  Keep your head, accept nothing less than pleasantness, and stand your ground.