Friday, June 22, 2012


Using the 'absorb and diminish' technique when faced with inconsiderate, cruel or thoughtless behavior from those we love is frequently ineffective; more likely, an approach containing a combination of clear thinking, using few judgments and no criticisms, could be a step in the right direction.

Modifying our own behavior has miraculous effect on people who are in combat mode.  However, tolerating anything other than respect and kindness from others will pretty much ensure that this type of treatment continues.

Give some thought to watching your own reactions.  When hurt or mistreated, it is efficient to acknowledge this fact -- no whining allowed -- and state an alternative quickly, before the moment is lost.  Intercepting another's tirade is more simple than we may believe; sometimes all it requires is a clear, unwavering gaze and a short silence.

Remain calm, state as honestly as you can how you are feeling, and put some distance between you and your perpetrator.  Attempts to enter an unequal, contrived fray will do nothing more than put you squarely in a bullseye of illusion.  Keep your head, accept nothing less than pleasantness, and stand your ground.

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