Beware of endlessly talking about anything which seems painful, entering it daily, storing it carefully away before sleep. Renewing it on arising. Having no one to talk to (not with) is sometimes a saving grace. It is necessary when indulging a constant need to display circular thinking. Captive audiences, even collusion from well-meaning friends -- or enemies who secretly relish and encourage the pain and agony they get to witness.
But . . . this is going to require courage, not destructiveness. Because that's tenuous . . . drastic, going to an edge to excise, purge. I think some methods are more blatant than others, but they are possible to see, sans self-delusion. Curling around life like a deadly chem-fog or mosquito repellant spray in the evening, spewing poison from a truck, foiling one problem by creating others.
Just move on. Give equal press to studying the horizon. Concentrate less on avoiding holes than on finding another reality. Really. Truly. There will be a last go-around that finally does it. Not regarding usual shenanigans, of course, always front and center at the outset -- at the end, finally subjective. Breaking free. Of ourselves.
Do not believe yourself if there is unpleasantness present. This is the most important sentence I've ever written. Or thought. It could be the most important group of words EVER written.
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